Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to be a priest. I loved what a priest did especially reaching people at key moments in their lives like birth, marriage, and death.
I went into the seminary (a school where men are trained for the
priesthood) in South Florida right after high school at age 18. I spent 8 years studying Philosophy, Theology, and Psychology. Most importantly, I developed my relationship with God and through
God's grace, I grew in my spiritual life.
In 1991, I was ordained a priest at age 27 and assigned in two very active parishes in the Diocese of Palm Beach. St. Joan of Arc was a parish of 6,000 families, and Holy Name of Jesus was a parish of 3,000 families. This kept me busy presiding over masses, visiting the sick in hospitals and nursing homes, presiding at funerals, baptisms, and of course, weddings. Often, I would celebrate 2-3 weddings every weekend. I loved every minute of ministry and that is why I became a priest.
As time went on, I continued to love the work of a priest, but I was frustrated with the life of celibacy. The celibate lifestyle was a grave injustice to God's natural plan of marriage, family, and the pro-life philosophy. In short, celibacy did not make sense to me anymore. It has become as irrelevant and as meaningless as the Latin Mass.
Although I was very outspoken in my homilies about the injustice of some of the man-made laws of the church, I wanted to remain real and authentic in my life. I realized even though some of my priest friends could live out their lives of celibacy, it was not for me. Finally, I spoke to my bishop about my struggles and told him I wanted to leave. The bishop granted me permission to leave and I moved to Arizona, where my mom, sisters, aunt and uncle, cousin and grandparents (since passed on) lived. It is there where I met Fr. Jim Hushek, a married priest and he told me about the mission of continuing to work outside the church promoting our causes and creating awareness of unjust and unrealistic man-made rules that must be changed someday within the church. Through national organizations like The Federation of Christian Ministers, there are millions of people who wonder about the same issues and demand change.
Together with Fr. Jim, Carol his wife, Fr. Louis, And myself, we feel
honored to preside over couple's weddings.
I presently live in Mesa and have two cute Yorkshire Terriers named Gracie and Sophie who are beginning to show their age like me.
I continued a friendship with Fr. Jim Hushek and he introduced me to that Federation which empowers married priests and supporters to continue to live out their calling and ministry. However, this movement is not sanctioned by the Vatican. They see me as an "ex-priest" and do not recognize any “ex-priests” marriages. This violates their Canon Law, and according to the Vatican, I am not living in accordance with the present Pope's vision of priesthood.
It wasn't always a celibate priesthood. For the first 1,100 years, the Church had married priests. Several Popes were even married, including our first Pope, St. Peter. Yet, as the married priest died, the property and treasures were going to their families and the Church was losing out on much of the wealth of the time. Pope Gregory VII (Hildebrand) changed all that with his Synod in March 1074. This decree meant to get rid of Simony, to eliminate the buying and selling of Ecclesiastical Rights, and for married clergy to choose between their wives or their priesthood.
Needless to say, this decree of Gregory VII did not go over well and was not officially embraced until decades later. Many bishops and archbishops of the time, declared Gregory's decree as intolerable and irrational. Yet, it was Gregory's Monastic reforms upon the clergy and his embracing Saint Augustine and Plato's vision of form as 'more holy' than matter, that eventually won the day (unfortunately). Despite all the changes, some man-made laws caused more harm than good (in my opinion).
I still love the Catholic Church and I will always fight for the Church to be the best that it can be. The Church could be so much better than it is at the present time. In many ways, some of the man-made laws are a total contradiction to how God designed us to be. Optional celibacy, women priests, inclusive language, and more power to the people are just a few issues that I stand up for. We are all equal around the table of the Lord and therefore we should all be involved in the decision making of our Church. WE ARE THE CHURCH. WE ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST. THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT FLOWS OUT OF US.
Yet, in the words of Shakespeare, "power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Just ask some of the Cardinals and Popes throughout the centuries.
This is my story and my journey continues . . .
